Everything you need to know, and you were afraid to ask
The world of sexual wellness is vast and expansive. We like to think that no matter what you’re into, there’s something for everyone.
The body is full of erogenous zones, or places that elicit sexual arousal upon stimulation. This totally non-definitive list includes the genitals of course, breasts and nipples, stomach, ears, inner thighs, neck, and last but certainly not least – the butt!
If you haven’t figured this out yet, the anus is a potential treasure trove for pleasure. Its sensitive tissue is packed with thousands of nerve endings, and for people with penises – a pleasure button called the prostate.
The butt can be stimulated in all sorts of ways. Through toys, with a penis, hands and fingers, and yes – orally.
Oral sex on the outside of the anus, is often called a “rim job”, or its formal term “analingus”. Feel free to let your imagination run wild here.
Rim Jobs 101
Oral stimulation on the anus can be delightful as foreplay or as your main course – not that you need to define either.
Sometimes people will use it as a way to work up to anal penetration, whether that be with a penis, dildo, or anal plugs.
Prepare for a Rim Job
First things first is prepare. Despite the connotations we have with it, the anus isn’t necessarily any less sanitary or bad tasting than other genitals – as long as it’s clean.
Cleaning the anus can be as simple as washing thoroughly with your shower head, or a bidet. Some people choose to do an enema, which involves using a special device to push water or an herbal mixture into the colon. If you do this, be sure to wait a few hours before getting sexual.
The person giving the rim job will also want to wash their mouth beforehand, to avoid transmitting bacteria.
STIs like herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhoea, and HIV can all be transmitted through anal oral sex, which is why it’s important to use safer sex practices. This includes STI testing, especially with a new partner, or if you have multiple partners.
You can also choose to use a dental dam, which is essentially an external condom. Just be sure to put the lubricated side inside the anus! There are also lubricants made specifically for rimming.
Talk beforehand to get a gauge on each person’s expectations, desires, and boundaries.
Get Down to It
Like any sexual act, rim jobs can be new and exciting, and it may take time for you to figure out what you both like. Any techniques that someone may enjoy on their vulva and vagina, they may also like on their anus. This may include tongue penetration, tongue tapping, sloppy kisses, blowing on the outside, tongue circles on the rim, licking the perineum, and more.
Rim jobs don’t have to be the only thing being done. You can try simultaneous stimulation, by using rims jobs while stimulating the clit with hands or a toy, doing vaginal penetration with a toy, or while giving a handjob. They can also be done while sixty nineing! Double the pleasure, double the fun.
Be careful not to bring bacteria from the anus to the vagina, as it can lead to urinary tract or yeast infections. You’ll want to thoroughly cleanse the mouth and fingers before going back to the vulva.
If you or your partner are weary of using your mouths, you can try a toy that simulates a licking or sucking action, to get the effects of a rim job. This is also helpful if you’re single and wanting to try more anal play. Just be sure to properly sanitize your toys, and/or have toys specifically for your anus.
When it comes to rim jobs, you don’t know what you like until you know. If you’re giving someone a rim job, we encourage you to talk about what they want, what both your comfort zones are.
Rim Jobs Aftercare
Sexual aftercare is important, especially when trying something new.
Of course you’ll want to wash your mouth afterwards, especially if you are planning to continue having sex or kissing.
If you’re receiving a rim job, you’ll want to be easy on yourself after, as the anus is sensitive tissue. If it feels uncomfortable or dry, but you enjoyed it during, then wait a few days before trying again, and try to incorporate more lube.
Communicate afterwards to see what the experience was like for both of you. Maybe you both loved it, maybe it was awkward but you’re open to trying it again, or may be completely off the table
Just like anything new, rim jobs can take time to get used to.
Who Enjoys Rim Jobs?
Anyone with an anus may enjoy rim jobs. Keyword here is may, it is totally ok to not enjoy giving or receiving oral sex anally, or on any other part of the body.
Your sex life is a place for curiosity, discovery, and pleasure, not judgement.
Some people really enjoy giving rim jobs, others may tolerate it because their partner likes receiving, and for others it’s a total no go!
If a partner really wants to receive a rim job, again toys are an awesome option here. We encourage you to get creative, while working within each others’ boundaries.
Remember that liking or not liking rim jobs doesn’t make you weird or any better or worse of a sexual partner. It’s all ok – to each their own!