Why Do We Isolate? Who Can We Talk to?
Isolation is one of the most difficult aspects of men’s sexual medicine. It’s almost part of the Man Code – Don’t talk about it. It seems the whole world snickers at the TV ads for ED drugs. What guy is then going to turn to his friends and admit he has ‘that’ problem? Who can he talk to? Most men even find it very uncomfortable to talk to their partners about their difficulties. So, many men simply avoid the topic, avoid the discussions and avoid seeking help.
Taking that first step of reaching out for help can be terrifying. For many men, their lives and relationships are almost in ruins before they are willing to make that first step. Self-blame, guilt, embarrassment and this blow to their manhood can be paralyzing factors. Facing the fact that they need to get help often comes when they can’t avoid the issue any longer.
Many men will turn to the anonymity of the internet to seek help. This is a perfect setup for the scams and con-artists that are waiting for desperate men to stumble onto their promise of complete restoration of sexual virility. Men are often willing to pay anything, try anything and do anything to get their sex life back. This vulnerability is exactly what the hustlers are looking for.
When I talk to men about this isolation, I often ask them to turn the tables on themselves. What if their friend came to them and wanted to talk about his sexual problems? Every single one of them has said they would want to help. Would they laugh? Nope. Would they tell his other friends? Nope. So, why is it that so many men are still living by the rules of the middle school playground: never let them see you sweat?
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